Ovid, 60, died this morning after the end of his last Latin test at Midland High School. The ranic Roman writer was found in the classroom after having been stoned to death with pencils and erasers, thrown by Latin 3 students who have now moved on to Vergil. He is survived by his dusty, smelly copies of the Metamorphoses, which will probably never be read again. Thus, he is not really remembered at all. But at least he's dead.
Whoo! Sorry for that outburst, but I am finally DONE WITH LATIN! For all of you out there who are convinced Latin is the language of the enlightened (and, for LOST fanatics, the language of the "Others"), I am here to tell you that you have never tried to decipher Ovid's bloody, gory, and altogether un-literary works of garbage! Pyramus and Thisbe, Pygmalion, Orpheus and Erydice, GOOD RIDDANCE!