Tuesday, August 23, 2011

School Stories

All right. Tuesday. And I'm posting.

I'm what??

Yes. I am posting. It's not going to be long--I have an essay to write, a collage to finish, and a season finale to watch (for a TV show that I won't divulge, because you'll tell me the ending. Rotten spoilers). So I come bearing funny stories.

BEFORE I CONTINUE. It is important for you to understand that while I am a senior at Midland High School, I take no responsibility for this. I was not in on the decision making process. I did not take part in the activities mentioned below. And I did not know about them until they were done. Sorry. You can't arrest me. By all means, though, arrest the idiots responsible for this.

So at my high school (name withheld for the creepers), it is traditional to perform a prank as the senior class. Sounds fun, except that for the last few years, the pranks have trended into more...illegal waters. Two years ago it was filling trash cans with cement. The year before that involved water balloons, fake grass, and a torch. And this year...well, this year involved a jungle.

That's our theme for the school year--WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE!!! Yep. It's lame. But anyway. So the first day of school, there was the traiditional senior rally in the senior lot before school started, which involved a large amounts of bananas (I like bananas--they're good. Any takers on what show I'm watching now??) and more water balloons. Apparently there was to be an annoying high school senior spewing profanity over a truck's megaphone system, but thankfully someone caught him in time.

But then. Lunchtime rolled around. And suddenly, there were crickets. Everywhere. In the halls. In the classrooms. A couple in the parking lot. Thanks to the idiots that our high school is about to spit out into the world. They had bought 2,000 crickets and set them loose inside the school.


Someone put on Facebook (wish I could tell you who. This is so funny.) that just for cleverness sake, they should have bought 12 more. (For those staring at this screen in confusion, 2000 + 12 = 2012. This is the year of our graduating class.) Isn't that GENIUS?? Unfortunately, all of the people planning the activity are the idiots and imbeciles. So no cleverness was involved.

Today (the second day of school) involved animal food strewn over the parking lot. I'm surprised my classes aren't empty from those in DAEP. Apparently, there are rumors of buying 19 pigs, labeling them 1 to 20, and setting them loose in the school. That way, when the pigs are rounded up, the APs think one is missing.

I have to say. I'm a little jealous of that idea. That's pretty smart.

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