It's time for Google Auto-fill, where I answer questions from Google beginning with "How should I...?" For those of you reading this wondering, "Did this loser steal this from John Green and Nerdfighteria?", the answer is yes. But, due to the high improbability of him ever coming across this blog, I don't really care. For those of you who know nothing of nerdfighteria...I highly recommend a voyage through the Youtube channels (punny, I know).
All right, here we go. Question number one: How should I know lyrics?
Answer number one: Well, aside from the obvious answer, which is listen to the songs, dummy, I really don't know what to tell you. Perhaps you should pay attention to the lyrics, instead of focusing on bouncing up and down or doing totally unattractive dance moves at parties. Or, even better, instead of googling how to know lyrics, maybe you should google the lyrics instead. Because knowing how to know lyrics doesn't actually mean you know lyrics.
Question number two: How should I cut my hair?
Answer number two: This actually happens to be questions two, three, four, six, seven, and ten, all worded the same. How should you cut your hair? The answer--with scissors! Or maybe a razor, if we're discussing facial hair. But no, really, just cut it like you want it. I don't reccomend wearing it down to your ankles, but hey, it's like Burger King. "Have it your way."
Question number three: How should I invest my money?
Answer number three: Well, seeing as I don't take economics for another year, and have no investable money to speak of, I'm not particularly qualified to answer this question. Still, I'd have to say in a bank. With smart people taking care of it. Doing it yourself, unless you're an economics guru or just plain smart...will lead to ruin. So, the simple answer is trust somebody smarter than you to make you wealthier than you're wildest dreams. And, if it doesn't work, then you get to fire somebody and still feel good about yourself.
Question number four: How should I dress?
Answer number four: I don't reccommend cross-dressing. That is kind of a big no no. Other than that, I would avoid turtlenecks, argyle socks, and big glasses. Unless you're an accountant or a male librarian (or a cross-dressing female librarian) But definately don't spend time Googling how to dress before you decide, partially because that's dumb to decide how to dress in a place where no clothes exist (or anything else for that matter) and partially because I really didn't want the mental image of a person sitting at their computer naked.
Question number five: How should I fill out my w4?
Answer number five: Honestly. Otherwise, the crazy tax ninjas will descend upon the straw structure you call a house and leave you huddling in the middle of a vast field, with no clothes or haircutters or lyrics to speak of. Don't lie to those people. The nose knows, y'know? They'll get you faster than you can shout "w4!"
And that's it for Google Autofill (if only people didn't have to stress about their hair five different ways--then we could've had more questions!) I really enjoy doing this, so I think I'll make it a weekly thing. Autofill Thursdays--that has a nice ring. If you have any questions I should answer, leave them in the comments below. I'll try to give you a straight answer (sorry to any legit Googlers that burst in on this mockery of information--read on in peace), but no promises.
Until next Thursday, then!